So, I received a letter from a scammer. I thought I will toy with it a bit. I opened up a new e-mail account with no real information, and nothing linking my real life to the fake account, and decided to reply to the letter I have received. I have not yet had a reaction, but as and when the debacle unfolds, I will be sure to post some comments about it. But first, the letter.

Dear beloved,

Please read this mail with good faith because I  am writing it from my hospital bed with heavy tears in my eyes and great sorrow in my heart because my Doctor told me that I will die in less than two months time. Base on this I wish to transfer my wealth to you so that you can assist me in building a charity organisation, for the saints in helping orphans,  poor and needy people in some parties of the world especially kids Haiti and Africa as a debt I am paying to Allah which is my last wish because I grew up an orphan.

I am offering 20% to you, while 80% should be used judiciously on the charity project. The total amount in question is $2.5Million United States Dollars.

Please get back to me quickly.

Regards,
Mrs. Magda Bekker.

Okay, so I concocted a reply to this letter, in a hope to draw out the author, “Mrs. Bekker”. I made some obvious as well as some subtle hints about the fact that I know this is a scam, but I am hoping that this person’s grasp of the English vernacular is as low as his/her grammar skills, and would not pick up on these hints. Here is my reply:

Dear Mrs. Bekker,

I am “touched” by your letter. Truly so. No, really, I “mean” it!

I am sooooo-so-so-so sorry that you are going to die in 2 months time, but you know, all of us, our time comes one day or another, for some of us our time comes too late. 

In your case, the millions of dream “money” that you made in your life time will be well spent on all the “other” little orphans in Africa and Haiti who might have gotten hope from your “generosity” – if only they had internet access to read about your skit “heroics.” 

I am absolutely, irrevocably certain that your intentions are pure, and I “trust” you, because your letter was written with so much “heart-felt emotion” that I had really a lot of difficulty not to cry myself. I am absolutely “certain” that you have all the money you say you have, and can thus make the promises that you do. Wow, what a burlesque notion of concocted “philanthropy!”

You always hear things like “A fool and his money soon parts” and also “When money is scarce, friends are rare”. This is so true! You must have been VERY shrewd and secretive in your money making ventures during your life time, because nobody knew about all these “millions” that you have stashed away over the years. Poor soul. You must have worked day and night, because your attempt to contact me, a total stranger, to help you is so sad. If only you had real friends to help you distribute your “wealth”.

I am therefore offering my “devoted” help to you get rid of your unclaimed “millions”.

Tata ma chance! 🙂

William Jenkins