I will never love again! Right!

I can only feel sorry for people who say I will never trust anyone enough again to love them, because I have been hurt too many times (or something similar).

My motto in this situation is to deal with it, and deal with it decisively. There is absolutely nothing wrong with mourning over the loss of someone special after a breakup. You may even call that person names (only in your mind, of course, if you wish to remain friends with that person). Mourn, deal, get over it, and move on. Do not make your suffering more than what is absolutely necessary.

People having this attitude also often feel that they cannot move back to being friends with the person they were with after the breakup. Nonsense. The key is to deal with your loss and grief before attempting a friendship. By dealing with it, getting over it, and then re-establishing a friendship, you may actually be surprised at the possible benefits of being mature about it all:

  • Sharing good times with someone you really care about, by giving up a small part of that person (the lovers part of the relationship) and focusing on all the other special things about that person.
  • Being the eternal optimist, I also believe that there might be a slight chance of getting that person back again, but that would depend on the situation, and how you deal with it. Of course, it goes without saying, that you should not particularly wait too long for that person, as your life goes on, friend! Be a friend. A good friend. Have good times together. Date others. Have fun. If you are lucky, you may actually be happy, or even get that person back.

So, next time you hear someone say those words, maybe you can refer them to this blog, and maybe they can get some sense into their troubled minds.

By the time of writing, I have just started to get used to the fact that I have lost the love of my life, and my soulmate. I had no idea why she broke up, and I asked some questions. I asked REALLY bad questions, and I think I may have made permanent damage in the relationship. But that is a story for another blog post.

Romance

I have realized something:

I have yet to meet a woman who does not like romance. It is needless to say that being romantic should not be the only quality you possess, but in my opinion, that is a very important one. I have used all my resources to get ideas of romantic things to do for the lady in my life. Times that it were not appreciated were rare, and the benefits gained from it are too much to quantify.

Perhaps if more people were romantic more often, their relationships would last longer…?

Pots and lids

When it comes to love, there is an old expression that states that every pot has its lid. We may call this the hypothesis. Well, you see, I have a problem with that philosophy. Here is my reasoning:

If we all believe that we are pots who has a lid out there somewhere, it means that all of us, men and women, are pots. This means that there are no lids out there. That makes sense, right? We are all pots, and therefor are no lids. So – if you want to believe my philosophy, you will immediately disprove the hypothesis.

But – just to prove that I am actually an optimist and that love does exist, I will take this philosophy of mine a step further and explain that the hypothesis is indeed false, but that my philosophy has a silver lining – you just need to look carefully.

If you take it as the truth that we are all pots, you may fall into dispair. But here is the thing! We are all pots, but some of us are small, some are medium, and some are large. When we meet our soulmate out there, we are simply two different sized pots getting together, and we fit snugly into each other. In other words, we become as one.

Now – after reading that explanation, I manage to explain everything except one little thing: of what use are two pots inside each other? You cannot cook with them. You cannot do ANYTHING decent with them in that state, except maybe neatly store them away in your cupboard. If you see this cupboard as your life, you can see yourselves as a unit when you are together in the cupboard, protecting your life together, and that you strengthen each other emotionally.

But – where is the real use? Here. When a cook cooks a scrumptuous meal, he takes out both pots, and use them each for their individual purposes. That symbolizes our own unique strengths and purposes. As man and woman (or whatever your inclination is) we all have our unique strengths, weaknesses and limitations. Together we cook up a symphony, and when we are done with our masterpiece, we go back to being snugly together in the cupboard.

You may feel that a cook can sometimes not cook something spectacular without a lid on the pot. Yes, you are absolutely right. But, I have already said that there are no lids in the world of romantic love. So, where do you get lids? Lids are your friends, children, family and pets. Abracadabra, the picture is complete. (I think…)

Hmmm… 🙂