My first hate mail and job offer…

Don’t you just love it when people show the signs of their poor upbringing and absolute lack of intelligence? Hehehe…

Well, I have just received my first hate mail. It goes like this…

Please contact Dick Dugler from Dick (TM) PTY LTD
Telephone number: 101111
E-mail address (as given): suck-my-d*ck@industries.net
Fax number (if provided): 101111
Subject: Job Offer
Body: Howz about you suck my erect p*nis? Faggot

Well, let’s see… First of all, he works at the police station, hence the number 10111 (LOL). However, this retarded “policeman” has problems counting. There are only 5 numbers in the police hotline, and only 4 of them are the digit 1. I guess he lost all his counting fingers when his inbred dog mistook them for frankfurters.

I have to say though – being able to register a domain such as industries.net for his personal hate mail needs certainly indicates that this “policeman” is very rich with lots of foreign investments, and he likes to travel quite a bit. It is evident from the fact that he owns a company called Network Solutions, which, from my knowledge gathering, is a Limited Liability Company web services provider located in the United States and is owned by General Atlantic, a large global growth investor company, who owns well over 50 companies (http://www.generalatlantic.com/en/companies/all). Looks at some of these companies! This is so impressive! It would be really ridiculous to believe that this man is anything less than a director of this group of companies! So – I have to say – I am very much impressed with the mettle of my retarded board member.

And would you believe! He is offering me a job! WOW! And nothing less that to suck his honorable erectness. Wow. Now all I can hope for is that I don’t need a tweezer to find it – I am so excited! But I believe he must be one of the “biggest” men around, you know, because, wow, nobody would advertise their manhood in his e-mail address if he was Stuart Little, right? Yeah – I wonder if I should accept.

… 4 hours passes …

Okay – now that the excitement and exhiliration is over, I have decided not to take his job offer. Not only did his e-mail address had a hard bounce, his mailer daemon responded with the following error message: “No such user: suck-my-d*ck”. So it means that this guy has been playing me! There is no job openings for personal d*ck suckers. I feel so wronged! *sigh*

Well, now that I am over the worst of the disappointment, I started to accept my fate. This person is actually sort of an idiot. Why do I say such fowl things about a prospective employer? Well, see, that’s simple: He has no d*ck to suck, which is evident from his bounced mail, and, well, he should’ve figured I am not his type, because his girlfriend likes me… ;-)

My mom’s a b**ch

My mom’s a b**ch. The words uttered by a 12 year old on the forum of a popular game I sometimes play online, called TribalWars. He said this, because his mother would not pay for the fees of the game, so he had to play at a disadvantage to other kids whose parents did buy them the so-called “premium points”.

When told that his behavior was not good, here was his response: “I dont think you realize how young i actually am :P Im not old enough to have a Visa card or anything, my dad would buy it, he has bought it once but the bank shut his cards down because he stopped paying bills, and my mom would never ever spend money on a game… I would charge it to my cell but i dont want my dad to owe more money than he already does (My mom being what she is wouldnt by me or my brother cell phones, so my dad had to)”.

I have decided to buy myself premium points, because it just makes the game more manageable and it then takes up less time (which I do not have a whole lot of nowadays). Those with large game accounts without premium points can still play the game, but management of the account becomes tedious.

Now with the bit of history of the game out of the way, I responded to the post as follows:

==========

Hmmmm…

Adults usually have reasons that kids don’t know about for not allowing certain perks or benefits. The reason your dad stopped paying bills could be because he COULDN’T anymore, or because of poor financial control. It could be anything. Your mom, on the other hand, could refuse to do this due to your financial situation (or not, whatever – read on).

My mom raised 4 boys on her own, and she had a very small salary. When I got out of school, as I started working as a waiter to help my mother with little household expenses, not because I was forced to (she never asked a cent of me) but because I started to realize what things cost, and how she was suffering, and hiding it from us kids so that we wouldn’t worry.

We didn’t have cellphones or any luxuries. What we did have, though, was second-hand clothes, food, and a roof over our head. We didn’t want to understand that when we were young, when all the other kids had money for sweets and cold drinks during school breaks. But now that we’re all grown up, we realize exactly what my mom went through, as we have been through similar situations ourselves in our adult lives, albeit for different reasons, perhaps.

Now that I am an adult, I remember all the small things that my mother *did* which I did not notice when I was younger. On pay day, each of us got a small, cheap sweet. Something nice, just for us. Without fail. No exceptions. At that time it didn’t compare well to the stuff the other kids in school got, but now that I think back – she was a FRIGGIN’ AMAZING WOMAN! Even though we considered her a b**ch when we were kids…

So – next time you want to call your mom a b**ch, think about what I wrote here, and you may reconsider your thoughts. Whatever her reasons are for not giving you money, could be a serious reason that she is not telling you, to stop you from worrying.

Welcome to Invisible Ink

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Welcome to Invisible Ink. This is the personal homepage of Kobus Myburgh, and here he will either entertain you (or sicken you) with petty philosophies, tasteless jokes or his curriculum vitae. Hopefully you will see something here that interests you.

Kobus Myburgh was born in 1975, and has been working in the IT industry for over 12 years and has gained vast experience in managing tertiary education computer systems and users, all aspects of web development and customer care (through his company, NetGold Productions, founded in 2001), usability, accessibility and user experience improvements (through his B. Sc. (cum laude) and B. Sc. Honors degrees through North-West University) and also various other professional qualifications, some of which are A+, ITIL Foundation, ITIL Practitioner in Release and Control, Web development through Working Webs, Software specialist (with distinction) through Boston Business College and attendance of Novell 6.0 CNA.

Kobus has been working in various fields in the IT sector, with a strong focus on training and web development.