Author Archives: bliksem

My first hate mail and job offer…

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Don’t you just love it when people show the signs of their poor upbringing and absolute lack of intelligence? Hehehe…

Well, I have just received my first hate mail. It goes like this…

Please contact Dick Dugler from Dick (TM) PTY LTD
Telephone number: 101111
E-mail address (as given): suck-my-d*ck@industries.net
Fax number (if provided): 101111
Subject: Job Offer
Body: Howz about you suck my erect p*nis? Faggot

Well, let’s see… First of all, he works at the police station, hence the number 10111 (LOL). However, this retarded “policeman” has problems counting. There are only 5 numbers in the police hotline, and only 4 of them are the digit 1. I guess he lost all his counting fingers when his inbred dog mistook them for frankfurters.

I have to say though – being able to register a domain such as industries.net for his personal hate mail needs certainly indicates that this “policeman” is very rich with lots of foreign investments, and he likes to travel quite a bit. It is evident from the fact that he owns a company called Network Solutions, which, from my knowledge gathering, is a Limited Liability Company web services provider located in the United States and is owned by General Atlantic, a large global growth investor company, who owns well over 50 companies (http://www.generalatlantic.com/en/companies/all). Looks at some of these companies! This is so impressive! It would be really ridiculous to believe that this man is anything less than a director of this group of companies! So – I have to say – I am very much impressed with the mettle of my retarded board member.

And would you believe! He is offering me a job! WOW! And nothing less that to suck his honorable erectness. Wow. Now all I can hope for is that I don’t need a tweezer to find it – I am so excited! But I believe he must be one of the “biggest” men around, you know, because, wow, nobody would advertise their manhood in his e-mail address if he was Stuart Little, right? Yeah – I wonder if I should accept.

… 4 hours passes …

Okay – now that the excitement and exhiliration is over, I have decided not to take his job offer. Not only did his e-mail address had a hard bounce, his mailer daemon responded with the following error message: “No such user: suck-my-d*ck”. So it means that this guy has been playing me! There is no job openings for personal d*ck suckers. I feel so wronged! *sigh*

Well, now that I am over the worst of the disappointment, I started to accept my fate. This person is actually sort of an idiot. Why do I say such fowl things about a prospective employer? Well, see, that’s simple: He has no d*ck to suck, which is evident from his bounced mail, and, well, he should’ve figured I am not his type, because his girlfriend likes me… ;-)

The influence of the stars and universe

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What about astrology? You believe in it? You really do? Think it is has an effect on you, who you are, who you should date, what you should eat and what work you should do? You better believe it!

From a philosophical point of view (and I may get a bit of flack from a religious point of view now) you can think of this as a large randomizing machine. A lottery machine if you will. There are a finite number of balls. Let’s simplify it, and say there are only 9 balls. Let’s call the numbers 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and 9. No suprises here! Let’s say we have to choose 6 of those 9 balls for a certain lottery draw. Some of our options are 1, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9 or 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9 and 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8. What about 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8? Sure

Now let’s assign a characteristic to each number. Let’s assume the following to be true:

  • 1 – Likes coffee
  • 2 – Plays sports
  • 3 – Dances
  • 4 – Loves sleeping
  • 5 – Likes chess
  • 6 – Is romantic
  • 7 – Loves children
  • 8 – Is musical
  • 9 – Has a good sense of humour

As you can see, there are literally only 9 different options here. But, mathematically, there, I think, are 9*8*7*6*5*4 different possibilities here. I will leave it to the mathematicians amongst you to confirm or dispute this. This would mean, from 9 distinct options, you can be provided with 60480 different combinations with 6 digits. This is what makes us all unique.

Now – let’s revisit our chosen combinations above.

  • 1, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 – A romantic coffee drinker who gets enough sleep, plays chess, loves children and is musical.
  • 2, 3, 5, 6, 7, 8 – A dancer who plays sports and chess, is romantic, loves children and is musical.
  • 1, 2, 3, 7, 8, 9 – A coffee drinker who plays sports, dances, loves children, is musical and has a good sense of humour.
  • 1, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9 – A coffee drinking dancer, who plays chess, is romantic, is musical and has a good sense of humour.

Do I have proof of this? No, I don’t. Does science have proof of this? I highly doubt it. Does society have proof of this? They seem to think so. Is the evidence conclusive? I don’t know. So why do I believe it? Because it simply has to be. Like God. You can’t explain God, nobody can. But God is there. And the stars are God’s randomizing machine to keep us different enough to keep us interested enough in one another. To keep us learning about ourselves and others, our whole life long!

In our example there are, using only those 9 combinations and choosing 6 of them at any given time, you can make over 60000 distinct combinations. That is what makes us all unique. The stars and galxy – it’s God’s randomizer. The position of the planets and stars at your birth is what differentiates you from another person. Again, do I have proof of this? No – but I believe it anyways…

My mom’s a b**ch

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My mom’s a b**ch. The words uttered by a 12 year old on the forum of a popular game I sometimes play online, called TribalWars. He said this, because his mother would not pay for the fees of the game, so he had to play at a disadvantage to other kids whose parents did buy them the so-called “premium points”.

When told that his behavior was not good, here was his response: “I dont think you realize how young i actually am :P Im not old enough to have a Visa card or anything, my dad would buy it, he has bought it once but the bank shut his cards down because he stopped paying bills, and my mom would never ever spend money on a game… I would charge it to my cell but i dont want my dad to owe more money than he already does (My mom being what she is wouldnt by me or my brother cell phones, so my dad had to)”.

I have decided to buy myself premium points, because it just makes the game more manageable and it then takes up less time (which I do not have a whole lot of nowadays). Those with large game accounts without premium points can still play the game, but management of the account becomes tedious.

Now with the bit of history of the game out of the way, I responded to the post as follows:

==========

Hmmmm…

Adults usually have reasons that kids don’t know about for not allowing certain perks or benefits. The reason your dad stopped paying bills could be because he COULDN’T anymore, or because of poor financial control. It could be anything. Your mom, on the other hand, could refuse to do this due to your financial situation (or not, whatever – read on).

My mom raised 4 boys on her own, and she had a very small salary. When I got out of school, as I started working as a waiter to help my mother with little household expenses, not because I was forced to (she never asked a cent of me) but because I started to realize what things cost, and how she was suffering, and hiding it from us kids so that we wouldn’t worry.

We didn’t have cellphones or any luxuries. What we did have, though, was second-hand clothes, food, and a roof over our head. We didn’t want to understand that when we were young, when all the other kids had money for sweets and cold drinks during school breaks. But now that we’re all grown up, we realize exactly what my mom went through, as we have been through similar situations ourselves in our adult lives, albeit for different reasons, perhaps.

Now that I am an adult, I remember all the small things that my mother *did* which I did not notice when I was younger. On pay day, each of us got a small, cheap sweet. Something nice, just for us. Without fail. No exceptions. At that time it didn’t compare well to the stuff the other kids in school got, but now that I think back – she was a FRIGGIN’ AMAZING WOMAN! Even though we considered her a b**ch when we were kids…

So – next time you want to call your mom a b**ch, think about what I wrote here, and you may reconsider your thoughts. Whatever her reasons are for not giving you money, could be a serious reason that she is not telling you, to stop you from worrying.

What a surprise!

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I am busy reading a wonderful compilation of ghost stories published by Readers’ Digest. Many of them are quite extraordinary (exuse the pun) but one stands out with its (semi-transparent) head and shoulders above the rest.

Jean Rhys’ short story, “I used to live here once” is a beautiful, well thought through story which captures the reader’s attention something fierce (boooo!)

Although it is semi predictable from the start, and also somewhat from the title of the story, that the narrator of the story is in fact the ghost (no scares here), I doubt that it was the intention of the author to hide this ghastly revelation to the reader. The great surprise comes later in the story, and the chilling cold that ghosts your own body when you realize what you have just read in these few pragraphs is absolutely spectacular.

Due to copyright infringement possibilities, I can not post the story here, but you can probably find it by searching for “Jean Rhys” and “I used to live here once” in Google. Enjoy!

Danger out of context

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Ahhh, how easily people can start random panic! Shall I write a soap opera?

Thoughtless (or maybe that was not as thoughtless as I initially thought) propaganda can sometimes almost incite revolutions!

Take for example the big hype around Coca-Cola’s acidity. Yes, it DOES contain phosphoric (or some similar) acid, and yes, phosphoric acid does have a PH of around 1.1 or something when in pure form and in high concentration, but in Cola it is not in pure form, and the ratio, according to certain sources on the web (which could not be verified at the time of writing) is around 55%

So – that would make the pH of Coca-Cola around 2.3 or whatever, right? Yes, that is scary. Very scary. But did you know that stomach acid has an acidity somewhere between 1 and 2? That is almost double as acidic as the Coca-Cola you enjoy so much! And that is in your stomach 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, while the Coca-Cola moves through your digestive system rather quickly. Your stomach lining is made to handle that heavy acidity, so that your stomach acids, required for digesting your food, can be contained. Do you really think that a little bit of Coca-Cola, that stays only an hour or two max, will upset your stomach lining terribly?

Now – before I unleash the wrath of the millions of health fanatics all over the world (or at least of the few people who read my blog), let me just say that nothing that is done in excess is good for you. Be wise in what you eat and drink and be generally safe, and you should remain healthy, but honestly, before you think that your next glass of soda may kill you, or even your next cigarette may cause cancer, think whether you have this whole “I am going to die!!!12!!1!1!” theory completely out of context.

Personally, I don’t smoke. I drink very little alcohol, and I drink far less Coca-Cola than I used to, but I do not have any objection to responsible use of the vices that the extremist health freaks say will kill you ;-)

Tango time!

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Very few dances speak so much to me as much as the Tango does. I am sure everyone interprets the Tango in their own unique way, but for me, the Tango represents a courtship. The love-to-hate relationship between two people who are trying to get accustomed to one another.

The body positions in some of the movies appear as if the two are drawn together in a tight embrace, yet at the same time as if they are pushing each other away. Perhaps he had garlic for supper?

Perhaps they are staying close enough to each other to explore each other, yet far away enough to prevent pain and heartache. Sort-of like a cat and a dog if they have never been exposed to one another. Cautious, yet curious.

If you postulate that the above paragraph is true, then perhaps you will be able to see why I like the Tango so much. It is a cat and mouse game. So is courting someone. So is exploring each other. Finding that special one. Everybody say “I am tired of playing games” what they mean is “I am tired of playing games that make me sad or depressed.” There are good games, exciting games, that makes the courting process so interesting and fun.

Oh, and just for interest’s sake, apparently the Tango partially originated as a dance between two males. A challenge to a duel of some sorts. This is according to a Tango specialist in my ballroom dancing community, but a quick search to this matter on the web couldn’t confirm this. That may explain the pushing away part quite well, though!

Out of sight, out of mind…

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Someone once said that a tidy desk is a sign of a cluttered draw. Does that necessary flow that a cluttered desk is a sign of an empty draw? No, it does not. We often believe that if something is out of sight, it is out of mind. In many cases this works, at least for a while. Until the desk gets too cluttered, and the draw is also full. Then we need to purge. To clean up. To detox. To rejuvinate.

Envision this tidy desk of yours, or the cluttered one, if you wish. Envision this cluttered draw or empty one, should you so desire. Make sure you are thinking of YOUR desk and YOUR draw. Not a generic one or one of a family member or a friend. What does your desk look like? Is it messy? Is it tidy?

How do you think this simbolizes your life? Are you hiding your pains and fears away in your draw, or are they available for everyone to see? Are you a control freak who keeps everything around you tidy, but inside yourself, you’re a mess? Do you want everything in its place? Do you HAVE everything in its place? Are you in control of yourself, or not? Are you trying to control everyone else around you because you can not control yourself? These are just a random bunch of questions. I want to make you think. You don’t have to think sense, just think, and really, nobody has to know that you thunk at all – it will be our little secret.

I am equating my desk with my mind. My desk is usually messy, but so is my drawer. And with messy, I don’t mean dirty. Not in the gutter, nor is it unkept and dusty, and coffee spilt over it. It is untidy. But everything is in its place. It is usually easy for me to find something on my desk or in my drawer, even though it may be impossible for someone else to find it. I know where everything is.

That is similar to my mind. I can find things in there that I never knew I collected before. I get random flashbacks from when I was 5 years old, that probably nobody in the world would remember, even if they were present at the time, and had the same memory stored away somewhere. The reason being that for them it was just something that happened, for me, that same event made a profound impact on the way I do things.

Some days I get this urge to clean everything up around me. I pack out my draws, and repack them. I clean up my desk, and reorganize everything. I have realized that I do this only when I am in a situation where I have absolutely no idea what is going on around me. This could be work pressure, some other issues, such as missing someone, or being in pain, or whatever your situation may be. Once I have packed and reorganized, everything starts to pile up eventually, and it gets messy again, but I know where everything is, until I don’t know anymore. Once I get to that point, I purge again.

I do the same with my mind. The same with my emotions. This is evidence in the posts I make on my blog, and when I make them. I tend to write stuff when something is bothering me. Lot of the posts on here revolve around losing the love of my life last year. Then it went quiet. I dealt with it, and moved on. My blog has been quiet. Until now.

So – what is bothering me now? It is simply that my desk is getting cluttered, and I know that soon I will need to clean it out. For me that is a good thing. It rejuvinates me. It rejuvinates my soul. It makes me feel back in control. My desk and my draw are both tidy. At least for a while.

Speed dating

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I have recently (last night, in fact) attended my first speed dating event ever. It was a heck of a lot of fun. When I registered for the event, I was a bit skeptical, because I thought that all I would meet there would be a bunch of desperate or needy people. After doing some research at speed dating, I saw all these video clips of speed dating featuring the most gorgeous girls and the hunkiest men (I would presume…) and I thought Yeah, even gorgeous people would need new girlfriends or boyfriends from time to time! So that though was quickly squashed and my perception changed, so I prepared my thoughts for last night and off I went, all charged up and happy. I know those video clips were made to bring forth people’s best sides and were probably staged, but they sufficed to change my attitude about speed dating.

So – as I arrived at the venue about 30 minutes early (I had to travel about 80km, so rather be safe than sorry), I immediately loved the venue. The up-stairs parlour was perfect for the prupose of speed dating, as it was just big enough to taken about 20 people, was secluded, and could be separated from the rest of the venue quite easily. Now, on to the event…

The SmartDate hostess (Amy) and owner (Jenny) was there well ahead of time, and as we arrived, we were explained how the process works. Sounds easy and fun, so now we’re just waiting for everyone to arrive, so we can start. As the people arrive, I start to evaluate the ladies arriving, and checking out the competition for signs of nervousness and obvious signs of discomfort. None were. Everyone was smiling and laughing, and having a drink. Then the event started.

First up: Kate. Wat a nice lady. Not sure we will be 100% compatible, because of the way the conversation went – we have some htings in common, but some major differences, but it was really, really an amazing time. Definately someone to make friends with.

Second person I spoke to was Chantelle. She is working in the travel industry, and seems to be well-read. we have lots of things in common, and laughed a lot during our brief encounter. Definately some potential there, as far as I am concerned!

Next I spoke to Robyn. I was totally dumbfounded. She was spontaneous, beautiful, exciting and friendly, and didn’t seem nervous at all. She has style, and loves dancing, just as I do. BINGO!!! But we’ll see what the results of the event was. We can only get each others’ contact details if she feels the same, so let’s see.

Kathy is a teacher. Teaching small kids, and focusing a lot on the problem solving skills of these young future stars. We have had a decent 5 minute conversation about teaching and lecturing, and general cognition of people of all ages. The time was up too soon. I would definately want to talk to Kathy again.

Alice also works in the travel industry, and she travelled a lot. She values her friendships most of all, and that is why she will never leave South Africa. Seems to be a really nice person to get to know better. Time will tell :-)

Yvain. Oh Yvain. Not only does she remind me of one of my favourite movies, Star Dust, but she was a heck of a lot of fun to talk to. Too bad we only had 5 minutes. She is working for an investment bank. Let’s see if we are matched up.

Next was Olga. Delightful lady to talk to, and just like me, not a morning person at all. We’ll be absolutely compatible as far as that is concerned. She was funny, yet knew when to be more serious, and I am sure if we had more time, we could’ve talked for hours.

Karen is involved with helping children. She only came for the social aspects of the event (a girls night out with her friends, Kate and Zasha), so no potential there for that particular reason, but we still had a lot of fun talking.

Zasha. Beautiful and interesting. Well-travelled, but now settling in South Africa. We had an interesting conversation, and I really think she and I will be able to connect on an emotional level, so, we’ll see.

Well, that ends the official part of event. Afterwards we went downstairs and had a drink or two and chatted with each other. I went back upstairs and chatted to Kathy and Robyn, together with one guy who was at the event, Ivan. We had an aire of mocking each other, and just goofily fooling around. This was quite a lot of intellectual stimulation, as we had to think of what to say to tease the other, but without offending them. What fun! So – my singular drink was finished, and I had to drive back home.

I will definately attend another event as soon as possible…!

Some more myku’s

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It has been a while since I posted on my blog. Been away for over a week, and then on training for a week. Time to update a bit. And what better to update it with than with a bit of creativity. I have written a few more myku’s:

In response to: I’m happy with where I’m at, As long I’m still moving, Not simply running like a rat, But moving towards improving

To be happy where you’re at
Requires a purpose in life
But to get a purpose in life
Make yourself happy to be where you’re at

NOTES:

The key is not to look for extravagant things to make you happy, but to make the most of what you’ve got. Always good to broaden your horizons, but do not feel that if your life is not particularly exciting or daring, that you have no purpose…

In response to: I hate to bother you, but could I borrow a shoulder to cry on and a cup of tomorrow?

When tears threaten
And you feel beaten
And your emotions are bare
My shoulder is there

NOTES:

You sometimes wonder when someone is *really* your friend. Real friends won’t need to be asked for a shoulder to cry on. Real friends will instinctively know that something is wrong and will often not only offer the shoulder the cry on, but a possible solution to the problem that made you cry in the first place…

Until next time…

Ghosts from the past

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Just as E.’s face appeared to me in a dream shortly after I have met her, her face is now gone again. I have a weird dream that I have quite often. I can recall 6 times that I had this particular dream, always the same, except twice, both of them concerning E. The first one, I saw her face, as her back was turned to me, face sideways, and now, I had the dream again, again different, her body towards me, but as I reach her, she turns around, and vanishes. Here is the basic dream:

I dream I am walking in some serene and calm place, may be a tropical island. I see a topless woman standing in front of me, but her back is towards me. She seems familiar, but I can’t see her face. I see her long, straight, dark hair blowing in the wind. Usually when I get to the girl, I wake up, without seeing her face. Only when I met E., I realized where this dream comes from: it comes from one of my favourite Afrikaans songs, called “Droomvrou”, which means “Dream Woman”, and the words describe a woman standing with her back towards the man, but he feels he knows her, even though he never sees her face. Interesting how music can influence you so profoundly!

In E.’s case I saw her face clearly the first time I have dreamt this dream about her. The second time was actually completely different, though the same scenery. I had the following dream last night:

Again my serene and calm place. Again a woman standing in front of me. This time, her body is turned towards me, still naked, but the nudity is blurred. I walk towards her, and when I reach her, she turns around and vanishes.

I woke up startled, wondering what that meant, and after writing down the dream (scared I will forget it), it dawned on me what it meant, at least what I thought it meant. She is out of my life, and my soul is beginning to accept this fact. I have already given up on getting her back – I knew that was not going to happen, but I never gave up on getting a friendship going with her again (my previous blog posts will show just that…). Just about a week ago, I still posted about this friendship that I so desperately long for, as I feel we had a very special connection. I was still fired up about keeping the friendship alive.

But now it is done.

Suddenly it is all clear to me. Why be friends with someone who does not want to be your friend? Sometimes you REALLY have to cut your losses and move on. MOVE ON! That time has come for me. I am free.

Perhaps my planned career change has something to do with this new mindset – the thought of leaving the old behind and embrace the new. I am attempting to exchange the comfort zone of a fixed salary each month for a fluctuating income and being my own boss. If things go well, I will leave my day job by the end of December. My new venture starts 1st of September. So, just as I plan to leave the old job behind, I am leaving E. behind now. Deleting phone numbers and throwing out all memories and souvenirs that remind me of her. It is now her choice entirely to get over her grudge against me. E. is now a ghost from my past. But she is not a poltergeist. She is not haunting me anymore.

Until the next time…