My motto in this situation is to deal with it, and deal with it decisively. There is absolutely nothing wrong with mourning over the loss of someone special after a breakup. You may even call that person names (only in your mind, of course, if you wish to remain friends with that person). Mourn, deal, get over it, and move on. Do not make your suffering more than what is absolutely necessary.
People having this attitude also often feel that they cannot move back to being friends with the person they were with after the breakup. Nonsense. The key is to deal with your loss and grief before attempting a friendship. By dealing with it, getting over it, and then re-establishing a friendship, you may actually be surprised at the possible benefits of being mature about it all:
- Sharing good times with someone you really care about, by giving up a small part of that person (the lovers part of the relationship) and focusing on all the other special things about that person.
- Being the eternal optimist, I also believe that there might be a slight chance of getting that person back again, but that would depend on the situation, and how you deal with it. Of course, it goes without saying, that you should not particularly wait too long for that person, as your life goes on, friend! Be a friend. A good friend. Have good times together. Date others. Have fun. If you are lucky, you may actually be happy, or even get that person back.
So, next time you hear someone say those words, maybe you can refer them to this blog, and maybe they can get some sense into their troubled minds.
By the time of writing, I have just started to get used to the fact that I have lost the love of my life, and my soulmate. I had no idea why she broke up, and I asked some questions. I asked REALLY bad questions, and I think I may have made permanent damage in the relationship. But that is a story for another blog post.